My Great Revenge

What I Would Do Poem

If you don’t wanna be here for me anymore, then fine.
Do what you want.
And see if I care.
Go ahead, I dare you.
It won’t bother me a bit.
But oh are you going to rue this day.
As I am planning my revenge to its finest…

I would start off by sneaking into your room.
I would text your boyfriend, breaking up with him. I would lie and say you never even liked him and were only using him to get back at your ex.
Then I would go onto your computer, and change your myspace password to something you’d never guess.
Oh, but first I would change your layout to something totally embarrassing, how does Barney sound?
And I would take off your Justin Bieber music and change it to Barney’s theme song. Perfect.
And I would take a hammer out of Dad’s barn and smash your cell phone into a thousand pieces. You really should thank me, I mean I am giving your fingers a break and preventing arthritis.
Next I would break your hair straightener in half, and hide mine. Guess you’ll have to go to school looking like crap.
Once you’ve fallen asleep I would go into your backpack and rip every single homework assignment into itty bitty pieces, so tiny it’d be impossible to put back together. I’m sorry so much of your time has now gone to waste.
And I would throw all of your clothes into the dryer and shrink them a little bit each time after wash so you think you’re gaining weight.
When you’re not home, I’d unlock your bedroom door and let all the little kids into your room to tear apart. Your room will be trashed: bed unmade, clothes out of the drawers, everything just everywhere.
When you want a ride somewhere, I’d refuse. And if mom makes me, then I would embarrass you so bad that you’d wish you had just cancelled your plans.
I would wake you up for school in the morning super extra early and would tell you you’re running late.
I would tell you what to do all the time, even more than usual; bossing you around as if I’m your mother. I could care less if you listen, what matters is I’m aggravating you.
I would go outside late at night and tap on your bedroom window so you’d think someone was coming to get you. Then I’d come running in the house laughing so hard you could hear and know it was me.
And I would encourage Mom to stop buying junk food that you love so much.
So instead of having Oreos for snack, you can pack some carrot sticks.
When I’m supposed to babysit, I’d say I need your help. That way you can’t go out and hang with your friends.
I would go in your bedroom and watch TV, talk, and whatever else bothers and annoys you so that you can’t get your homework done.
I would make sure you don’t get your perfect 4.0 GPA.