Keys
There’s so many, I forget what they’re for
House key—protects us; the people I love
Car key—a sense of freedom
Business key—represents trust, responsibility
Diary key—secrets kept untold, hidden inside
Key to my heart—hopeful, caring, full of love;
Yet patient, particular, afraid of hurting
Keys—locks, unlocks; opens, closes
But be careful; don’t lose your keys
Wouldn’t want them getting into the wrong hands
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Never wanted to hurt you
Earlier our little girl rode her tricycle as I walked beside her down the street
We walked by the park
The park we used to love taking long walks on together at night time,
No one else was around so could just be the two of us
The one that holds so many great memories,
But also carries the memory of the scariest day of my life
I haven’t been back to the park since that day
She asked me if we could play but I said no,
I never wanted back in there again
She began to whine and beg
I looked away; thoughts of that day filled my mind
I thought of you, and how I could have lost her
She is so wonderful; I hope you regret not being here
Holding in my tears I gave my little girl a hug
Told her we’d stay to play for just a little while
She was wondering why I was crying,
I told her how much I love her and how special she is,
And that I’m so lucky to have her
When she smiles she reminds me of you and the good times we shared together
I watched her play, and thought about things I haven’t in a long time
I want to make sure you know, I’m sorry
I didn’t mean it, this wasn’t supposed to happen
I was only trying to stop you, trying to protect myself and our baby
I never wanted to hurt you
But I was pregnant; hurting me was hurting her too
Young love, so naive
What was once my fairytale became my biggest nightmare
I carried so much hope until the very end
Kept telling myself one day you’d change
Wanted that man I fell in love with, the man I thought you were
You never wanted her; could have just left us
Instead you’d rather make me suffer,
Hurting me is one thing, but I had to put my daughter first
No one’s at fault for the pregnancy,
You didn’t want a baby because this was so soon after we got married
You thought the baby was a mistake, she was a blessing but you missed out
You were in a good mood that night, well you were pretending
You never wanted her, now I see you only tricked me into believing you ever did
That night we went for a late night walk in the park like we always loved to do
Me, you, and our baby inside my tummy walking along the trail
We were having a good time
We came across the creek and stopped at the bridge
We looked into the water and listened to the frogs croaking
Your cell phone rang and interrupted
Said it was a business call, and walked away
I didn’t believe you; plus it was too late at night
I knew if I said anything you would start hitting me
I heard you laughing and the way you were talking,
Right then I became aware of what was going on
Your “business call” was taking forever
I knew she was really your girlfriend
And all sense of hope for our future together suddenly vanished
Finally you got off the phone and came over
I asked you about your new girl, and you started hitting me
I tried running away,
But you continued punching me in the face until I fell to the ground
You turned away and sat on the edge staring down at the water,
Watching it flow like we always used to do together
I was beat up and worried about the baby, and you hurting me again
I knew I had to get away, but wasn’t sure if I was strong enough
I remember lifting my head and seeing a cinder brick just a few feet away
This was my only chance, there was no other choice
I stood up as quietly as I could, and walked a few steps over
Sitting there you called the girl again and started talking
It really startled me; I’m surprised I didn’t make any noise
I was so beat up, and was really tired
I could hear dirt crunching beneath my shoes,
I was right behind you; you finally heard me and turned around
I caught a glance of your face; you wanted to tear me to shreds
The brick was already above you, I hit it over your head
You began to tumble over the edge of the bridge
Falling into the water
I didn’t know if you were conscious or not
But I knew I had to get out, and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again
I ran out of park and as fast as I could and when I found a phone I called 911
It turns out the brick had knocked you unconscious, and you drowned
I didn’t get into trouble, it was self defense
I wanted to make sure you know I’m sorry and I never meant for this to happen
I watched my little girl play in the park today
I was glad she brought me back
To see her playing, laughing and smiling
Makes me feel so happy and it makes me think, and realize so many things
But this wasn’t my fault, nothing ever was
It’s all your fault; you’re the one to blame
And you’re not here to make me feel guilty
I did the right thing, and put my little girl first
We walked by the park
The park we used to love taking long walks on together at night time,
No one else was around so could just be the two of us
The one that holds so many great memories,
But also carries the memory of the scariest day of my life
I haven’t been back to the park since that day
She asked me if we could play but I said no,
I never wanted back in there again
She began to whine and beg
I looked away; thoughts of that day filled my mind
I thought of you, and how I could have lost her
She is so wonderful; I hope you regret not being here
Holding in my tears I gave my little girl a hug
Told her we’d stay to play for just a little while
She was wondering why I was crying,
I told her how much I love her and how special she is,
And that I’m so lucky to have her
When she smiles she reminds me of you and the good times we shared together
I watched her play, and thought about things I haven’t in a long time
I want to make sure you know, I’m sorry
I didn’t mean it, this wasn’t supposed to happen
I was only trying to stop you, trying to protect myself and our baby
I never wanted to hurt you
But I was pregnant; hurting me was hurting her too
Young love, so naive
What was once my fairytale became my biggest nightmare
I carried so much hope until the very end
Kept telling myself one day you’d change
Wanted that man I fell in love with, the man I thought you were
You never wanted her; could have just left us
Instead you’d rather make me suffer,
Hurting me is one thing, but I had to put my daughter first
No one’s at fault for the pregnancy,
You didn’t want a baby because this was so soon after we got married
You thought the baby was a mistake, she was a blessing but you missed out
You were in a good mood that night, well you were pretending
You never wanted her, now I see you only tricked me into believing you ever did
That night we went for a late night walk in the park like we always loved to do
Me, you, and our baby inside my tummy walking along the trail
We were having a good time
We came across the creek and stopped at the bridge
We looked into the water and listened to the frogs croaking
Your cell phone rang and interrupted
Said it was a business call, and walked away
I didn’t believe you; plus it was too late at night
I knew if I said anything you would start hitting me
I heard you laughing and the way you were talking,
Right then I became aware of what was going on
Your “business call” was taking forever
I knew she was really your girlfriend
And all sense of hope for our future together suddenly vanished
Finally you got off the phone and came over
I asked you about your new girl, and you started hitting me
I tried running away,
But you continued punching me in the face until I fell to the ground
You turned away and sat on the edge staring down at the water,
Watching it flow like we always used to do together
I was beat up and worried about the baby, and you hurting me again
I knew I had to get away, but wasn’t sure if I was strong enough
I remember lifting my head and seeing a cinder brick just a few feet away
This was my only chance, there was no other choice
I stood up as quietly as I could, and walked a few steps over
Sitting there you called the girl again and started talking
It really startled me; I’m surprised I didn’t make any noise
I was so beat up, and was really tired
I could hear dirt crunching beneath my shoes,
I was right behind you; you finally heard me and turned around
I caught a glance of your face; you wanted to tear me to shreds
The brick was already above you, I hit it over your head
You began to tumble over the edge of the bridge
Falling into the water
I didn’t know if you were conscious or not
But I knew I had to get out, and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again
I ran out of park and as fast as I could and when I found a phone I called 911
It turns out the brick had knocked you unconscious, and you drowned
I didn’t get into trouble, it was self defense
I wanted to make sure you know I’m sorry and I never meant for this to happen
I watched my little girl play in the park today
I was glad she brought me back
To see her playing, laughing and smiling
Makes me feel so happy and it makes me think, and realize so many things
But this wasn’t my fault, nothing ever was
It’s all your fault; you’re the one to blame
And you’re not here to make me feel guilty
I did the right thing, and put my little girl first
Monday, March 29, 2010
“That summer I was 11”
Summer Poem
Swimming every day,
Out in the pond; in the hot summer sun.
Me and my best friend,
My brothers and sisters too.
Mom watches us, till Dad’s home from work.
He takes over; we can finally take our life jackets off.
Mom goes by the house to cook hamburgers on the grill
Locks little kids in the gate with their baby pool.
All having fits; they wanna swim with the big kids.
Competitions for who could jump the furthest,
And the biggest splash; Dad being the judge.
So much fun.
Me and my best friend grab hands, jump off the dock together.
Climb up the ladder; run and jump off one after another this time.
Backwards jump, twirl, cannon ball.
Swim to the middle with boogie boards,
See who can stand on theirs longest.
Then we’d attempt swimming to the bottom, bringing up muck as proof.
Time to dry off; go in the gate with the other kids,
Swing on the swings for a few minutes; then come in for dinner.
What fun days; that summer I was 11
Swimming every day,
Out in the pond; in the hot summer sun.
Me and my best friend,
My brothers and sisters too.
Mom watches us, till Dad’s home from work.
He takes over; we can finally take our life jackets off.
Mom goes by the house to cook hamburgers on the grill
Locks little kids in the gate with their baby pool.
All having fits; they wanna swim with the big kids.
Competitions for who could jump the furthest,
And the biggest splash; Dad being the judge.
So much fun.
Me and my best friend grab hands, jump off the dock together.
Climb up the ladder; run and jump off one after another this time.
Backwards jump, twirl, cannon ball.
Swim to the middle with boogie boards,
See who can stand on theirs longest.
Then we’d attempt swimming to the bottom, bringing up muck as proof.
Time to dry off; go in the gate with the other kids,
Swing on the swings for a few minutes; then come in for dinner.
What fun days; that summer I was 11
"Blah, Blah, Blah!"
Tension Poem
Younger sibling into trouble.
Mom’s screaming, over reacting.
Grounded forever, everything’s taken away.
None of my business, right?
Wrong—it is my business.
Well, I make it mine.
Mom has her favorites, it’s quite obvious.
I can’t just sit back, say nothing,
Act like it doesn’t bother me.
I see wrong, have to do what feels right.
Mom hates that I do this,
Put myself right in the middle,
Dropping a bomb,
Creating an even bigger dispute.
Anxiety builds up, frustration focused on me now.
Screams at the top of her lungs,
Apparently my opinion wasn’t asked,
I complicated the situation,
Blamed for excess commotion.
In attempt to explain my feelings
She doesn’t make an effort to listen.
All I hear is blah, blah, blah!
Goes on and on agitating me,
Until she digs deep enough
Under my skin.
Younger sibling into trouble.
Mom’s screaming, over reacting.
Grounded forever, everything’s taken away.
None of my business, right?
Wrong—it is my business.
Well, I make it mine.
Mom has her favorites, it’s quite obvious.
I can’t just sit back, say nothing,
Act like it doesn’t bother me.
I see wrong, have to do what feels right.
Mom hates that I do this,
Put myself right in the middle,
Dropping a bomb,
Creating an even bigger dispute.
Anxiety builds up, frustration focused on me now.
Screams at the top of her lungs,
Apparently my opinion wasn’t asked,
I complicated the situation,
Blamed for excess commotion.
In attempt to explain my feelings
She doesn’t make an effort to listen.
All I hear is blah, blah, blah!
Goes on and on agitating me,
Until she digs deep enough
Under my skin.
"I didn't mean it"
Confessions Poem
Upset. Angry. Scared. Hurt.
An abundance of feelings bottled up inside.
So full, the bottle was ready to burst.
My body could no longer hold in all of the unexpressed emotions.
Then the words overflowed,
Spilled from my mouth,
“I hate you.”
Unable to face your expression,
I looked away, hid from everything.
But unexpectedly crisis awakened me.
We’ve been separated
Can’t see you. Can’t talk to you.
My entire body aches, memories of my words and actions replay in my head.
Can’t wait much longer though.
To give you a hug&tell you
I miss you,
I don’t hate you,
I love you.
Upset. Angry. Scared. Hurt.
An abundance of feelings bottled up inside.
So full, the bottle was ready to burst.
My body could no longer hold in all of the unexpressed emotions.
Then the words overflowed,
Spilled from my mouth,
“I hate you.”
Unable to face your expression,
I looked away, hid from everything.
But unexpectedly crisis awakened me.
We’ve been separated
Can’t see you. Can’t talk to you.
My entire body aches, memories of my words and actions replay in my head.
Can’t wait much longer though.
To give you a hug&tell you
I miss you,
I don’t hate you,
I love you.
My Great Revenge
What I Would Do Poem
If you don’t wanna be here for me anymore, then fine.
Do what you want.
And see if I care.
Go ahead, I dare you.
It won’t bother me a bit.
But oh are you going to rue this day.
As I am planning my revenge to its finest…
I would start off by sneaking into your room.
I would text your boyfriend, breaking up with him. I would lie and say you never even liked him and were only using him to get back at your ex.
Then I would go onto your computer, and change your myspace password to something you’d never guess.
Oh, but first I would change your layout to something totally embarrassing, how does Barney sound?
And I would take off your Justin Bieber music and change it to Barney’s theme song. Perfect.
And I would take a hammer out of Dad’s barn and smash your cell phone into a thousand pieces. You really should thank me, I mean I am giving your fingers a break and preventing arthritis.
Next I would break your hair straightener in half, and hide mine. Guess you’ll have to go to school looking like crap.
Once you’ve fallen asleep I would go into your backpack and rip every single homework assignment into itty bitty pieces, so tiny it’d be impossible to put back together. I’m sorry so much of your time has now gone to waste.
And I would throw all of your clothes into the dryer and shrink them a little bit each time after wash so you think you’re gaining weight.
When you’re not home, I’d unlock your bedroom door and let all the little kids into your room to tear apart. Your room will be trashed: bed unmade, clothes out of the drawers, everything just everywhere.
When you want a ride somewhere, I’d refuse. And if mom makes me, then I would embarrass you so bad that you’d wish you had just cancelled your plans.
I would wake you up for school in the morning super extra early and would tell you you’re running late.
I would tell you what to do all the time, even more than usual; bossing you around as if I’m your mother. I could care less if you listen, what matters is I’m aggravating you.
I would go outside late at night and tap on your bedroom window so you’d think someone was coming to get you. Then I’d come running in the house laughing so hard you could hear and know it was me.
And I would encourage Mom to stop buying junk food that you love so much.
So instead of having Oreos for snack, you can pack some carrot sticks.
When I’m supposed to babysit, I’d say I need your help. That way you can’t go out and hang with your friends.
I would go in your bedroom and watch TV, talk, and whatever else bothers and annoys you so that you can’t get your homework done.
I would make sure you don’t get your perfect 4.0 GPA.
If you don’t wanna be here for me anymore, then fine.
Do what you want.
And see if I care.
Go ahead, I dare you.
It won’t bother me a bit.
But oh are you going to rue this day.
As I am planning my revenge to its finest…
I would start off by sneaking into your room.
I would text your boyfriend, breaking up with him. I would lie and say you never even liked him and were only using him to get back at your ex.
Then I would go onto your computer, and change your myspace password to something you’d never guess.
Oh, but first I would change your layout to something totally embarrassing, how does Barney sound?
And I would take off your Justin Bieber music and change it to Barney’s theme song. Perfect.
And I would take a hammer out of Dad’s barn and smash your cell phone into a thousand pieces. You really should thank me, I mean I am giving your fingers a break and preventing arthritis.
Next I would break your hair straightener in half, and hide mine. Guess you’ll have to go to school looking like crap.
Once you’ve fallen asleep I would go into your backpack and rip every single homework assignment into itty bitty pieces, so tiny it’d be impossible to put back together. I’m sorry so much of your time has now gone to waste.
And I would throw all of your clothes into the dryer and shrink them a little bit each time after wash so you think you’re gaining weight.
When you’re not home, I’d unlock your bedroom door and let all the little kids into your room to tear apart. Your room will be trashed: bed unmade, clothes out of the drawers, everything just everywhere.
When you want a ride somewhere, I’d refuse. And if mom makes me, then I would embarrass you so bad that you’d wish you had just cancelled your plans.
I would wake you up for school in the morning super extra early and would tell you you’re running late.
I would tell you what to do all the time, even more than usual; bossing you around as if I’m your mother. I could care less if you listen, what matters is I’m aggravating you.
I would go outside late at night and tap on your bedroom window so you’d think someone was coming to get you. Then I’d come running in the house laughing so hard you could hear and know it was me.
And I would encourage Mom to stop buying junk food that you love so much.
So instead of having Oreos for snack, you can pack some carrot sticks.
When I’m supposed to babysit, I’d say I need your help. That way you can’t go out and hang with your friends.
I would go in your bedroom and watch TV, talk, and whatever else bothers and annoys you so that you can’t get your homework done.
I would make sure you don’t get your perfect 4.0 GPA.
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